Match Meeting

Flying out to Houston on Sunday was a last minute decision but it was certainly a moment in time that I will never forget. On Monday morning, I had an opportunity to meet with the caseworker and Mama Grace for a few hours. We had lunch together and we spent plenty of time getting to know one another. I had the most amazing time. I felt like we had known each other for years. We both felt very connected to one another and she expressed her desires and plans for her little boy. There is no doubt in my mind that she loves this little boy with all her heart and she wants the best for him. We both cried together and we embraced every moment that we had together. It was amazing.

ETA: June 16th

I had hoped to post the following information late last night but time sort of flew out of my hands. Yesterday, May 20th, marked a pretty special day for the H Family. At approximately 1:50pm, we got a call from our agency advising that we had been picked....we had been matched...we had been chosen!

Over the past weekend, we were sent 2 seperate situations to consider. We opted to be shown to both mothers, understanding that they would be looking at albums on 2 seperate days. We were shown to one mother on Monday (who was having a little girl- due June 10th) and she narrowed her decision down to 2 families...and we were one of them! Interestingly enough, she asked for a few days to make her decision and as of today, she still has not chosen a family for her little girl. In the mean time, our paper book (the "not-as-beautiful" book) was sent to the Houston office for consideration by the second mother (who is having a little boy- due June 16th). Deep in my heart I was upset that the second mother wouldn't get to see our shiny-beautiful book but Papa H assured me that it was all in God's hands.

Never in a million years did I anticipate a call back yesterday advising that we had been picked by the second mother. Never. As a matter of fact, I actually told the caseworker upon the start of the call that "I know we didn't get picked, I can tell by your voice". Within seconds, she was correcting me and telling me that we had indeed been chosen for this young womans little boy.

After a whirlwind of emotionally charged calls to family and friends, Papa H and I drove to PQ's school to tell him the news. The much anticipated announcement that HE WAS FINALLY GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER!!!!!

This picture was taken as we told him the news.

PQ was pretty excited to share his news with a friend.

The Sunshine Family spent the afternoon and evening with us. Unfortunately, the picture that I snapped of the Sunshine Family came out blurry so you're just going to have to imagine how happy they were by the news. I think the smile on both of their little girls faces will sum it all up for you.

Yup, I think she's happy. What do you think?

Silly girl= Happy Girl

The overwhelming number of emails, phone calls, and visits was amazing. We met up with Glory's DH and their 2 sons late in the evening for ice cream at the local ice cream shop. (Y'all know how much the H Family loves ice cream-*wink*.) Unfortunately, I didn't get my pictures of the Glory boys before they went home.

Seeing God's hand in all of this is pretty fantastic. We can't thank EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU enough for all that you've done to support us and lift us up in prayer. Stay tuned as the updates unfold...

A Trip To The Emergency Room

My walls felt like they were fading fast. I felt a rush of nauseau come over me. The room started to get black and I knew I was going down. Tunnel vision had set in and within a matter of minutes, my world came to a screeching hault as I was loaded on the stretcher and taken to the hospital to be examined.

After a few hours of testing, the doctor came back in to chat with me. Dehydration coupled with an increase in stress levels had caused my body to try and shut down. Luckily, I never passed out. I managed to make my way to the local hospital via the ambulance and I was able to engage in conversations the whole way there. As I sit here typing this post today, I realize how lucky I was to be where I was when I felt sick. (I just so happened to be at Papa H's workplace picking up some items for the school. DT called 911 and within minutes, they were there ready to respond.)

The few days leading up to yesterday had been extremely stressful for me. We were considered for another baby that had been born the week prior. We decided to keep this referral semi-hush-hush just in case we didn't get picked again. We told our close friends so that they could lift us up in prayer. After hearing the news that we didn't get picked, I had a hard time picking up the pieces. I cried every single time I was alone. I couldn't put my finger on it. Why was this time so different? Why was I letting this situation get to me so much?

I trust God. I trust that He knows exactly how this adoption is going to unfold for our family but at the same time, I feel sad. We are so eager to bring home our child, whenever it is that our child is revealed to us. I keep trying to point out all of the great things about ourselves that the mother's might want to know. I keep trying to take the reigns on this adoption and it's exhausting when we try so hard yet don't get matched.

We allow ourselves to dream a little with each new referral that is sent over. Our hopes are raised as we think about telling PQ that he's finally a big brother. I get choked up at the idea that Papa H and I will have another little baby to call our own. My heart hurts for the parents who are making the decision to place their child up for adoption but I know that the decisions are made purely out of love. And I'm saddened by the cicumstances that we continue to see with each new referral. It wasn't until last night, after being discharged from the hospital, that I realized how wrapped up in these situations I get. I need to disconnect until we hear the words YOU'VE BEEN PICKED. Otherwise, I'm going to continuously wear my body down and that is certainly not what God wants or needs during this process.

A few Bible verses that have been helping me lately are:

1Peter 5:6-7 says "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Isaiah 40:31 says "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I need to hand over the reigns and let Him take control of it all. There's nothing else to say about it. I need to hand it ALL over to Him. If I ponder on what is lovely and what is pure, He will lift me up. He will comfort me in the times of distress. He is my rock. He is my strength. He will help me get through ANYTHING. I just need to listen for His voice.

Strong Enough

Click ON THIS LINK to listen. Amazingly perfect timing. Just when I think I'm not strong enough, this song reminds me that I don't have to be.

My 9 Year Journey To Motherhood

It's Mother's Day and I had an amazing day with my family. Papa H and PQ spent the entire day trying to tend to my every need even before I knew I needed something. I'm blessed, that's for sure.

I spent the majority of my day reflecting on the past 8 years of motherhood. It certainly hasn't always gone the way that I had planned. If you remember, we didn't always want more children. After having PQ, we thought we were done having children. We were content knowing that we would only have 1 child. It wasn't until 2006 that those feelings of being content would start to change.

During 2006, 2007, and 2008, we struggled to get pregnant. When we finally did get pregnant, we lost each of our babies during the first trimester. It's pretty amazing how our struggles can bring us to such a wonderful place in life. Our story of infertility led us to adoption and as we sit here today, we continue to wait on God's perfect timing of it all.

Earlier this afternoon, Papa H unknowingly brought a large bin of maternity clothes up to our bedroom. As I was unpacking my summer clothes, he was so happy to bring forward another bin that I 'must have overlooked'. Little did he know that inside that red bin was my stash of maternity gear (just in case I ever got pregnant again). It wasn't until this afternoon that I finally came clean with Papa H and with myself. Part of me, deep down in my heart, still wants to believe that we will eventually get pregnant again. In my mind, I have always daydreamed about adopting our next child and then soon after, finding out that we were pregnant again! The only difference would be that I would carry that baby to term. It felt nice to break down the walls that I had secretly been building in my own little world.




As Mother's Day 2011 comes to a close, I am humbled by the journey to motherhood that I have been on for the past 9 years. I'm honored to have such an amazing little boy of my own and I'm excited to meet our newest addition, whenever that might be.

Happy Mother's Day, Everyone!

Throwing In The White Flag

Day 6 of the detox and I gave up. I started the day with a protein shake mixed with water (the only way I could choke it down). I ate 2 pears and an apple and I was feeling fine. When I got home from work this afternoon, I called Papa H to let him know that I was caving. I don't like the phrase 'quitting' but I guess that's what I should call it. *wink*

For dinner, we ate salmon, red potato-green bean salad, and we had roasted beets. We had ice water to drink and we were smiling the whole way through the meal.

There is definitely something to be said about VARIETY. We are so fortunate to have a wide variety of foods at our fingertips. Although we didn't make it through the entire 10 day detox, we've learned quite a bit about ourselves and what types of eating habits we want to continue with. We are excited about the upcoming gardening season and we are anxious to grow our own vegetables again this summer.

For now, I'm going to put my feet up tonight and daydream about what I'm going to make for meals tomorrow. Oh, the possibilities...

Detox- Day 4 and 5

Day 4 of the detox went well. We continued to have our protein shakes in the morning and in the evening. In addition, we eliminated everything except fruits, vegetables, and legumes. Overall the day went well. I kept finding myself thinking about pizza...and ironically, the marketing signs at various businesses kept me in check. It's amazing how many food signs are hung around town to keep your tastebuds craving the various options. At one point, the idea of having fried food sounded appealing to me but I didn't cave. Instead, I chomped on another banana. (I think I had 3 yesterday.)

Day 4 Menu:
*Breakfast- Protein shake with 2 scoops of mix (up until Day 4, we were at 1 scoop)
*Snack- Cantaloupe
*Lunch: Field Greens, tomatoes, and kidney beans (no dressing-only because I left the balsalmic vinegar at home) and a banana
*Snack- 2 bananas
*Dinner- simple minestrone soup (that basically tasted like tomato water with beans because I didn't get a chance to let it simmer...Mrs. Dash is another new friend of mine. I think I added 1/4 of the bottle to my bowl of soup to make up for the lack of flavor...hahaha)
*Dessert- another protein shake with 2 scoops of mix


Today, my friends, is Day 5 and this is the day that I've been dreading since the start of the detox. For the next 3 days, the menu options are small (and quite boring, if you ask me). For the next 3 days, we will be boosting our protein shake consumption up to 4 times per day (instead of 2). In addition, we will be eating brocolli, cauliflower, spinach, mixed greens, apples, and pears. That's it. Nothing else. I like variety when I eat so the next few days could get interesting. I'm hoping that I don't cave. I know I'm tempted to eat other foods but in order for us to get the full results of the detox, we have to stay strong.

Day 5 Menu:
*Breakfast- protein shake made with apples and pears...oh joy...
*Snack- another protein shake made with apples and pears....oh joy...
*Lunch-field greens and a cut up pear
*Snack- oh yes...another protein shake made with apples and pears...oh joy...
*Dinner- Steamed brocolli with mashed cauliflower
*Dessert- Ooooh la la...did someone say ANOTHER shake? With the same mix-ins? Oh joy...


Day 6 and 7 will probably look the same as Day 5....I'm sure I'll be back with a temptation report for y'all.

Detox- Day 2 Plus a Look Ahead

Overall, things are going great! Each day during the detox, we are required to eliminate certain foods from our daily intake (in addition to the foods from the days prior). Day two brought about it's own challenges because we had to eliminate dairy and eggs. I hadn't realized how much I love dairy products until Day 2. Milk is my favorite beverage...the thicker the better. It makes Papa H gag to see me crave whole milk but I do love to have a glass of whole milk from time to time. We don't typically buy whole milk so I often get my 'fix' while visiting Grammy and Grampa's house. Cheese is also a fond favorite of mine. I like to add it to salads, to eggs, to just about anything. Cheese makes everything better! *wink*

Our Day 2 Menu Included:
*Breakfast: Fruit Smoothie
*Snack: Banana
*Lunch: Vegeterian Chili with rice (Delicious recipe, by the way!!) and a side of fruit salad
*Snack: Celery with Almond Butter and Raisins
*Dinner: Same as lunch-PQ had practice so we just ate the leftovers
*Dessert: Handful of raisins (YUMMY)
*Beverage of Choice: 3 quarts of water!!!

Eliminating dairy and eggs on Day 2 was a little bit of a challenge but I am certain that we will get through this week without caving to any of our food temptations. Not having an after dinner 'sweet treat' was also a struggle for me. I like to end my meal and/or my day with some sort of dessert (which usually includes a ton of refined sugar). Last night, however, I learned how WONDERFUL raisins are! Raisins are going to be my new sweet treat. I feel foolish for even saying that I am just now realizing this to be true. I also learned how wonderful brown rice syrup can be when added to smoothies. Up until this week, I didn't even know this natural product even existed! Our culture certainly loves to entertain the idea of not allowing fruits and natural sugars to be a source of sweetness. Instead, we are slammed with marketing techniques that make us believe that the processed Oreo or the Twinkie is what our body needs to curb that sweet craving. After yesterday, I beg to differ with those marketing techniques!

Day 3 begins today. I don't anticipate any 'issues' today. Day 3 requires us to eliminate all wheat, rye, barley, spelt, kamut, and corn products. Based on the food list for the week, we didn't think we were allowed to have these products so we actually got rid of these items at the start of this detox. BONUS!!!!

Our Day 3 Menu:
*Breakfast: Fruit Smoothie (the best one yet-Thanks, Papa H!)
*Snack: Sugar Snap Pea Pods
*Lunch: Spring mix salad with tomatoes and carrots (topped with balsalmic vinegar) and a side of honeydew melon
*Snack: Celery with Almond Butter
*Dinner: Red Potato-Green Bean Salad (stay tuned for feedback on the recipe)
*Dessert: Watermelon
*Beverage of Choice: Hopefully more than 3 quarts of water today!

Thanks for following along...stay tuned for more updates!

Let The 10-Day Detox Begin!

Are you sitting down? Really. Are you sitting down for this? Papa H and I have decided to try a 10-day detox which will include various levels of a modified elimination diet. (I really can't stand the word 'diet'. It sounds like we're trying to drop a ton of weight in a short amount of time by depriving yourself of any caloric intake. So just for the record, this is not a 'diet'.) Our hope is that the detox will rid our bodies of impurities and toxins...which will result in increased energy and better mental clarity. Any weight loss will just be an added bonus, if we lose anything at all. That's certainly not our main goal with this detox.

Yesterday, I went to the local farmstand/market (which I've mentioned in prior posts). Because our 10-day menu includes an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables, I was THRILLED to get what we did for the price that we paid! Here goes...

• 16 quarts of strawberries




• 2 cantaloupe melons




• 1 honeydew melon




• 1 whole seedless watermelon




• 2 mangos




• 2 pineapples




• 2 pints of blackberries




• 1.5 pounds of sugar snap peas




• 2.5 pounds of beets




• 1 pint of cherry tomatoes




• 2 dozen eggs

All for $36.50!

Today is Day 1 of the detox. We have eliminated all refined sugars, all caffeine, all processed foods, and all meat. So far, we're doing well. But in all honesty, we're only 15 hours into this day. It should be interesting to see how we progress through the next few days as we eliminate more foods from the menu. I have 2 large pots of different beans simmering on the stove so we can add them to salads and such. Beans, Beans, and more beans.

Stay tuned for Day 2 updates tomorrow!

Stay Well, Everyone!